I started this week out with good plans for Dragon Boy's lessons.  He really is very smart, and can learn new things very quickly.  I figured since he went about halfway through the year in public school (he's in 2nd grade), the first half or so of the textbooks for each subject should be fairly easy as they would mostly be review.  And because he's so smart and already knows the information, we should be able to fly right through the work.  This seemed to be sound reasoning.

Wrong.

My first week in the Lesson Planner was so organized: I had chapters, page numbers and assignment titles scheduled for the entire week for each subject, except math- where I had a note that each day of review would determine the next day. Texas only requires that homeschooled students study 5 subjects: Math, Reading, Grammar, Spelling and Good Citizenship (aka Social Studies). I have a few additional subjects that I think are valuable and should be included: Writing, Science, Art, Religion & a foreign language (at the moment, only the first two are actually on the schedule).

So far this week, we have consistently failed to complete everything on the day's schedule. I am beginning to think I should have scheduled less work per subject. As my husband reminded me the other night, the whole point of homeschooling is to do what works for us, at the pace that works for us. Which reminded me of the reasons I am choosing to homeschool (which I think deserves a post all it's own).

Although Dragon Boy is intellectually capable of accomplishing all that I set for him, he is physically incapable of accomplishing all that I set for him.  Let me explain what I mean.  DB is, as I said, very smart.  His pediatrician has commented on it.  His teachers at the elementary school have commented on it.  His therapists have commented on it (his therapists have offered the idea that he could probably run circles around many of the teachers at school...).  And, as long as we are doing the work verbally, he's all over it.  He has every answer almost before I ask the question.  Physically, though, he is 100% incapable of sitting and focusing long enough to do the work I know he can.  Particularly when the assignments require written work.  (Written answers are not his forte.)  A Language Arts assignment (reading comprehension, writing, spelling, grammar) that should take no more than 20 minutes from start to finish turns into 40 minutes, most of that consisting of various delay tactics.  A Math assignment that should take 35 minutes - less if we do it verbally - turns into an hour and a half because "writing the answers is boring".

Right now, the biggest problem I'm facing is that he is bored reviewing the information he has already learned.  And, if I could, I would love to skip straight to new material.  But I can't, because sending home work that has been completed and shows the progress of the student was not one of the things the school did well.  Most of what did come home made little or no sense to me, and many times I was relying on my son's memory of the assignment/instructions to even figure out what it was for.  Therefore, I have no idea what he actually did in school.

Although, today we did finally figure out where we will be starting for math (subtracting from double digits that requires borrowing).  In Spelling we are simply picking up where we left off last year, since he has already worked halfway through the 2nd grade Spelling book.  Reading Comprehension and Grammar have never been a problem as far as understanding the material, and our books are different from the books the school issued, so it is not a repeat of exactly the same thing.  He is quick to tell me the answer, less prompt about writing the answers.  Writing is a struggle, not because he doesn't have an answer, but again because he doesn't want to write it down.  Although, I'll give him the excuse that due to some of his occupational and sensory issues writing can be a pain - literally.  Science & Social Studies- again, I don't know what he's done, so we're going to just read straight through the books together, discussing the review questions as we come to them.

Which brings me to an idea I had floating around my brain.  I think I am going to try a more relaxed approach to homeschooling.  With Texas being one of the easiest states to homeschool in, with very few requirements, I can really tweak our program however I like.  That being the case, I am going to focus less on quantity and more on quality.  If it takes us all week to do 2 pages of any given subject, that's ok.  And if we don't get to every subject every day, that's ok, too.  Probably, I will rely less on planning assignments, and more on recording what we do as it gets done.

I want my kids to enjoy learning, especially Dragon Boy because he is showing resistance to school.  In order to accomplish that most important goal, I have to be willing to be more flexible in what I think they should be able to do and what they actually are able to do.  I will also have to be a bit more hands-on than I had intended.  I had hoped that DB would be able to do some of his work independently, but that's not looking like it is going to happen just yet.  But, if working with him one-on-one for most, if not all, of his subjects is what it takes to keep him focused, that is what I will do.  And be glad that I have the ability and opportunity to do so.

J is for ... Justification

Justification is when we feel the need to validate our actions, thoughts or beliefs, either to ourselves or to others around us.  How many of us are guilty of this?  I know I am at times.  I have many things going on in my life that I feel the need to validate, or justify, or have in the past.  Being Pagan is one of those things.  Being a single mom for several years was another.  Choosing to work full-time, then choosing to stay home; homeschooling and the possibility of sending my son to a public school.

First, I have to apologize for being so absent for the last month and a half.  We closed on our house at the very end of March and spent the first week of April moving everything into our new home.  I have spent the last several weeks unpacking, trying to keep up with my son's lessons, and my own, keep the kids from killing each other, and trying to take care of myself, since this pregnancy has been more difficult and drained me quite a bit.  Plus, we only just connected the internet this week and I have been too worn out to try to go other places to use it.  I have to admit, I also got behind in the posts because, even though I planned to keep up on paper and post them as soon as we got the internet, I let that slide because I was so busy with so many things.  Now I intend to play catch up as time permits, and post when I'm able.  (See justification at work: I am rationalizing why I fell behind.  Despite how valid all of my excuses sound, they are still just that.  Excuses.)

When I first became aware that what I believed and practiced had a name, I eagerly embraced the label of "being Pagan".  However, my family and many of my friends were not so easily accepting, and I found myself justifying my decision.  I would give reasons, such as "reincarnation only makes sense; after all, if "God" was so merciful, why would he only give you one chance to get it right?" and other similar arguments.  I no longer feel that need to explain myself or my reasons.  Part of that is due to family and friends getting used to the idea, and part of it is my own confidence and security in my choice.  If someone doesn't like it, fine - that's their problem, not mine.  And I've found that with this current attitude of "this is who I am and if you don't like it, oh well", I haven't met the same resistance as when I was just starting out along my path, and was still a bit unsure.

As for being a single mom, there were many who tried to talk me out of it.  I often heard that children need a father, or that single parent homes are unstable, and that I should "try to work it out for the child's sake".  While I'm sure that in other cases these arguments have value, I couldn't see that they applied to my situation (and still believe that).  For one thing, I was going through a divorce when I found out I was pregnant with my first.  Now, since I was already getting divorced, why on earth should I try to work it out for the kid?  I felt then, as I do now, that parents that stay together and are miserable do not make a good, stable home for children.  Children would benefit much more from parents who are not together, yet are happy.  And while I agree that children need a father, they do not always need their biological father.  I am happy to say that looking back, I don't regret that decision and am now engaged to a wonderful man who is a better dad to my children than either of their biological fathers are capable of being.

I also have to continuously justify homeschooling my son.  He is a special needs student, and we have tried the public school route during his kindergarten year.  It didn't go so well.  I believe he needs the flexibility that homeschooling allows, while others (who shall remain nameless for now) argue that he would benefit from the structure and stricter requirements of the public classroom.  I believe he is learning, as he has kept pace with his schoolbooks for the grade his age-mates in most subjects, is ahead in a few, and admittedly, is behind in one subject.  Though Reading is not his strong point, he is beginning to catch on, due largely to the generous assistance of one of my coven sisters in tutoring him, and I have no doubt he won't stay behind for long.  The only argument I can't counter is that sending him to school would expose him to other students, and offer a good opportunity for him to make friends in our new neighborhood.  With this schoolyear almost over, I refuse to enroll him at this point, but I am considering it for next year, at least for a portion of the year so that he can meet kids his age and be able to get that social interaction on a regular basis.  However, I would much prefer to enroll him in some local organized sport to encourage positive interaction with his peers.  Another argument I hear frequently, is that homeschooling doesn't prepare kids for "the real world".  Again, I disagree, because I don't think school prepares kids for the real world either.  Aside from the education itself, the routine of school didn't mimic the real world I found myself in when I started working during high school, or when I graduated.  Public school, in my opinion -feel free to disagree with me, I won't be offended!- attempts to create mindless robots who are programmed to do as they're told, when they're told and how.  It does not encourage creativity or independent thinking.  And while some employers look for the drones who will follow orders and not question them, increasingly it is shown that many employers value independent workers, who can think on their own and do not require constant supervision and guidance.

Enough about homeschooling, but do you see what I mean about justifications?

It's something we all do, whether consciously or not.  But I do think it is something we have to be aware of, so we can determine if the justifications are necessary, and who are we are trying to justify ourselves to.  Are we rationalizing our decisions so we feel better about it or so that others will be swayed to see our point of view?  It's important to understand our own reasons when it comes to making justifications so we can at least see the situation clearly.

E is for ... Eclectic-ness

The word "eclectic" is one we hear quite often in relation to Paganism: Eclectic Pagan/Witch/Witchcraft/Wicca/Path/Tradition, and more.

So, what does it mean, exactly?  I guess that really depends on who you ask.  Generally, it means that a person draws on multiple sources to create the whole.  In Wicca, it means that a practicioner does not subscribe to one of the more established traditions, instead choosing elements from several to create their own path.  In the wider sense, an Eclectic Pagan/Witch might draw on multiple traditions across several cultures to formulate a cohesive system.

The next question could be what are some reasons a practicioner might choose an eclectic path?  I can think of several.  Perhaps s/he has not had the opportunity to work with someone from an established tradition.  Or, they might have left an established tradition after finding it was not a good fit.  Another possibility might be s/he simply prefers eclecticism.

Does being eclectic mean you have to be a Solitary?  Not at all.  While there are Eclectics who are Solitary, there are also Eclectics who work with a group.  The coven I belong to, for example, is eclectic in nature.  Our "tradition" borrows from many sources - retaining what works well, modifying or discarding what doesn't.

I consider myself a witch practicing Eclectic Witchcraft.  Some aspects of what I do/believe come from Wicca; some from the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians; bits gleaned from what we know about pre-historic peoples; Green Witchcraft and Kitchen Witchery.  There are even a few Druidic tendencies and Native American traits thrown in to spice it up.  You really can't get much more "eclectic" than that.

While some may say Eclectics lack structure, I can't agree.  Sure, some Eclectics do, but certainly not all.  I won't sit here and try to say I follow a very structured eclectic path.  I don't.  But, I do practice within the structure I have created, and that which my Coven Sisters and I are creating.  My system allows for flexibility (not saying traditional paths don't).  I can keep what works.  And, if something worked before, but quits, I can get rid of it or change it.

I'm not just an Eclectic Witch.  I am also an eclectic mom and eclectic homeschooler.

I use the term eclectic referring to my role as mom because it is applicable.  I am constantly learning and growing, and as I do my parenting techniques evolve.  I use what works until it stops working.  Then I try something new.  My kids are so different from each other, but my son is just like my brother (to the point the whole family mixes up their names!) and my little girl is a carbon-copy of my sister.  This gives me an advantage: I know what my parents did with my siblings, therefore I can borrow what was successful and discard what failed.  Then try out new ideas based on what my friends and other parents have tried.

When it come to homeschool, again, eclectic is the way to go.  My son is such a unique learner, for all subjects, that no one program or curriculum completely fits.  So, I take what works, and find other methods and materials when necessary.

Being eclectic is very much a personal choice.  It's not right for everyone.  But it is right for me, for now, because it works.  I might someday get to know someone within an established, *gasp* structured tradition and have an opportunity to learn from that group.  If that happens, I might find it suits me.  Or, I might not.  Who knows?  Only time will tell.